


Transitions

by JuliaM (seshat0120)



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, First Time, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-08 04:24:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21470029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seshat0120/pseuds/JuliaM
Summary: Set between seasons 8 and 9 (with the epilogue after Continuum), Daniel's and Jack's lives are going through transitions.
Relationships: Daniel Jackson/Jack O'Neill
Comments: 3
Kudos: 53





	Transitions

**Author's Note:**

> I'm reposting my Stargate SG1 fics so, if anything sounds familiar, that's why.

Daniel stood in the middle of the living room surveying the chaos that his apartment was slowly becoming as he sorted his life into two piles. The larger pile would be packed carefully and the boxes put into storage, while the smaller pile would accompany him on his trip to Atlantis

He had a month to get everything sorted out but was starting to question if he would. He hadn’t realized how much he’d accumulated in the eight years since he’d returned from Abydos, even though he’d been an ascended being for one of those years. Sam, Jack, and Teal’c had kept his belongings safe until his return, despite not knowing if he ever would return.

Daniel sat on the floor by an open box and moved closer a stack of three frame photos that he was taking to Atlantis. He reached for tissue paper to wrap them. He stopped in mid-movement and looked lovingly at the first. It had been taken in Egypt and his memory of posing for it was hazy at best; he had been no more than two or three. It was the only picture he had of himself with his parents. He was sure there were more of them, could even remember a few, but it was the only one that had made it into his possession. He found that his memories of his parents, like the memory of when this photo was taken, faded a little more with each passing day. Daniel ran a gentle fingertip over the curve of his mother’s cheek, then carefully wrapped the treasured image in the tissue paper and added it to a box.

He lingered over the next photo, a deeper, more recent sense of loss filling his heart. Sha’re. It had been nearly nine years since he’d lost her to the Goa’uld – five and half since Teal’c had been forced to kill her to save his life. There were times that it seemed like just yesterday that that they been together on Abydos and he imagined he could still hear her voice calling him “my Dan’yel”…still taste her sweet lips.

More and more, though, it felt that Sha’re was a lifetime ago. Like his memory of his parents, his memory of her was growing blurry and distant as time passed. There would come a day, he knew, when he’d only be able to envision her by looking at the photo. “I’m sorry,” he whispered as his fingers brushed over her face. As he had with the photo of his parents, he made sure this one was carefully packed to make it safely to Atlantis.

He sighed when he looked at the last picture. The team – his team – SG-1. Janet had snapped it at a cookout at her house they’d all gone to a couple of summers ago.

Janet was gone now – taken from them far too soon. He wished that he had a picture of her to take with him as well and closed his eyes to conjure up an image of her in his mind. He’d avoided doing that for some time when the only image he could see was of her death. This time, he was able to see Janet and not the grisly aftermath of a staff weapon blast. He saw the care and concern she’d always had for him, SG-1 and everyone at the SGC...and especially the love she had for her adopted daughter Cassie.

Cassie was no longer the scared little girl they’d brought from Hanka – the only survivor of her world. She was a young woman now and had just set off for college a couple of weeks ago with a sense of excitement and a little trepidation. It seemed that slowly, one by one, the people that mattered most in his life were leaving and soon, SG-1 would be as well.

He shook his head slightly. He didn’t think four more disparate people had ended up the friends than SG-1 had. Now, they were all going their separate ways. He was off to Atlantis; Jack to DC; Teal’c to Dakara; and Sam to Area 51. Sure, they’d all promise to keep in touch and stay the best of friends, but in his experience – with Sarah, Stephen, and with other friends over the years – that promise was rarely kept. It was natural to move on to other things and slowly lose touch with the past. Not even SG-1, as tight as they had become while working together, were immune to that kind of drift.

He’d miss them all but he knew he’d miss Jack just a little more than the others. Jack who, despite the fact that they bore close resemblance to oil and water, had become the best friend he’d ever had. He let out a little sigh and his thumb brushed over his friend’s face as he pushed down the feeling he’d had for a long time- the wish that they could be more than just friends.

He’d felt a pull toward Jack since the first mission to Abydos but after Shar’re’s death, it had become stronger. Sometimes, he thought that Jack felt the same way as well, but that military regulations prevented him from acting on those feelings

When Jack had first warned him about Ke’ra, he’d been so tempted to ask him if the warning was concern or just jealousy. He hadn’t then or any of the other times he wanted to broach the subject for fear that he’d push Jack away and lose the best friend he’d ever had. He cursed himself for his own foolish because now it was likely that he’d never know.

He hoped that putting distance between them by going to Atlantis would help the longing he felt for Jack to fade faster. Sometimes, there was positive side to memories fading when it also took the sadness and pain with it.

He picked up a sheet of tissue to wrap the photo wondering how long it would be before the faces of his team...of Jack started growing hazy as well. As he carefully wrapped the photo, he once more let all of the ‘could haves’ with Jack run through his mind.

A sharp knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. Slowly, as reluctant to let go of the picture as he was to let go of his friends, he placed the wrapped picture tenderly in the box and went to answer the door. “J-jack,” he stuttered, seeing the object of his thoughts on the other side of his door. “What...um...what are you doing here?”

“I wanted to return this to you,” Jack said as he thrust a cream-colored sweater toward him. Daniel put out his hands taking it automatically.. “You must have left it behind when you stayed with me last year...you know...after you got back from, uh, Glowy Land. I found it when I was packing some stuff.” He looked over Daniel’s shoulder and raised his eyebrows, silently asking to come in.

Looking at the sweater in his hands, Daniel backed out of the way almost without thought so Jack could come in. He was trying to figure out how the sweater had wound up at Jack’s. He’d stayed with him for a few weeks after he’d descended. He’d grown weary of the drabness of the dormitory rooms at Cheyenne while he’d waited for the Airforce to process the mountains of paperwork to say he was alive and Jack had invited him to use his spare room. He didn’t think he’d seen or worn the sweater since well before he ascended, though. “I must have forgotten it. You’re sure it’s mine?”

“Pretty sure.” Jack stepped around Daniel and into the apartment. He looked around the living room, taking in its general state. “You’re really gonna do it aren’t you?” he accused with a note of hostility. “You’re just gonna pick up and move to another galaxy.”

Daniel blinked a few times, caught off guard by the hostility, then quickly recovered. “How about you? You’re packing up and moving to DC!”

“In case you haven’t noticed, Dr. Jackson, that happens to be the same planet. Hell, it’s the same continent.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Daniel said with a wave of his arm. “You didn’t even tell us…me…until you’d made the decision.”

“Oh, look who’s talking. I don’t seem to remember any in-depth discussions about your decision to move…To. Another. Galaxy.”

The two of them stood face to face with couch between them. “Was I supposed to get your permission?” Daniel challenged. He ignored the little voice inside that reminded him he’d nearly accused Jack of not getting his permission. “Face it, Jack, there’s absolutely no reason for me to stay at the SGC anymore. I can be of more use on Atlantis.”

“What do you mean ‘no reason’? The mission of the SGC has not changed. I don’t understand why you have and why you suddenly have to take off.”

Daniel tossed the sweater down on the couch then turned away. He angrily set about taping a box closed. “There’s nothing sudden about anything. You know I’ve wanted to go to Atlantis.

“Hey.” Jack reached around Daniel and pulled the roll of tape away from him. “You wanna try explaining? Yeah, the team’s breaking up and we’re moving on to other things. That’s the way life goes sometimes. It doesn’t mean you go running away to another galaxy.” He turned Daniel to face him, and his voice softened. “What’s goin’ on?”

Daniel jerked out of Jack’s hold and turned away, not wanting to see the gentle concern in the other man’s eyes. “Maybe I should ask you why you’re running away. I could understand why you took over the SGC but I don’t get why you’re suddenly willing to take a desk job in DC doing something you’ve always said you hated.” He spun back around and fixed Jack with a direct stare. “Maybe it’s not a what that’s making you,” he said with an almost accusatory tone. “Maybe it’s a who.”

“Who?” Jack asked, his forehead wrinkling. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Daniel took a deep breath, weighing whether or not he should press on and risk losing Jack completely on the slightest chance the other man had ever entertained any of the feelings he did. “Us,” he said softly, hoping that that one, small word hadn’t just damned the best friendship he’d ever had. 

Jack stared at Daniel for a few seconds before finally parroting back, “Us? What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” Confusion was plain on Jack’s face but just before Daniel could answer the question, Jack’s mouth dropped open and his eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Woah, Danny…in case you haven’t noticed, there isn’t an ‘us’ and there can’t be an ‘us’.”

“Why?” Daniel demanded.

Jack moved away from Daniel and over to the windows that looked out over the street. “You damned well know why. I can’t believe you even asked that.”

“Don’t ask, don’t tell,” Daniel said derisively. “That’s not an answer.” He moved behind Jack, grasped his shoulder and spun him around. “I want to know why. Why have we tap danced around this for…I don’t know how long? Why haven’t we found a way?”

Jack shrugged off the hand still on his shoulder and moved across the room, again trying to put distance between the two of them. “Why? Hell, up until two minutes ago, I didn’t even know you even thought about an ‘us’.” He rubbed his hands over his face then let them drop to his sides. He shook his head. “It would never work, Daniel. You know that.”

“Why?” Daniel asked again. “Tell me why. Tell me you don’t feel the same way.”

“Damn it, Daniel. You’re worse than my kid was with the ‘why’s’. Yes,” he practically shouted. “That what you want to hear? Yes, I have felt…do feel the same way.”

Surprised by the admission, Daniel opened and closed his mouth a few times before anything came out. “So what do we do, Jack? Are we just supposed to forget about it? Ignore how we feel? Is that what we’re supposed to do?” He moved closer to the other man, reached out and cupped his cheek. “I can’t do that, Jack. So, yeah, that’s why I’m moving to another galaxy.”

Jack reached up, holding Daniel’s hand against his face. “Daniel,” he said with a shaky breath. “You have to know it could never work out. No matter what we’d try, there wouldn’t be any happily ever afters and I refuse to hurt you that way. You’ve been hurt enough…too much…in your life. I’m not going to heap on to that.”

“I learned long ago not to expect any happily ever afters,” Daniel said with a sad smile. He gently pulled his hand away and crossed his arms across his chest. “I just…” He trailed off, shrugged, and then turned away. He walked back to the boxes he’d been packing, picked up the tape and started toying with it. “It’s not fair, you know.”

Jack pulled in a deep breath and let it out noisily. “I know it’s not fair.” This time, it was his turn to encourage Daniel to face him. “We’d only end up resenting each other. You know that. I’m not ready to retire and if I don’t, you’ll resent me for that. If I do, I’ll resent you for making me.”

“I’d never…” Daniel started to say.

Jack cut him off. “I know. I know you’d never even ask me to but that’s what it would feel like. Don’t you get it?” He framed Daniel’s face with his hands. “I can’t give you forever – at least not right now.”

“Why not tonight?” Daniel asked softly. “Give me tonight and then, when it’s time, we can worry about forever.”

“Do you really think it’s that simple? Do you really think we can steal tonight and then just forget about it and go back to the way things were?” Jack ran the back of his knuckles gently over Daniel’s cheek. “I’m not sure I could do that. Don’t you get it? I don’t want to hurt you. Don’t make me do that.”

Daniel stared intently into Jack’s eyes for just a moment before whispering, “You won’t do that, Jack. You won’t hurt me,” before leaning in and pressing his lips to Jack’s.

At first, Jack tried to fight the kiss. He braced his hands against Daniel’s shoulders to push him away but soon gave in to the passion. He slipped his arms around Daniel, crushing him to his body as he deepened the kiss. Eventually, he pulled back reluctantly and leaned his forehead against Daniel’s. “There’s no going back if we do this,” he whispered. 

“I know,” Daniel said before grasping Jack’s hand and leading him to the bedroom.

+++++++++++++++

The light was just making its way around the edges of the blinds in Daniel’s bedroom but Jack had been awake for over an hour already. He’d spent the time just watching Daniel sleep, his head pillowed on Jack’s chest. He ran his hand gently up and down his bare back then tilted his head forward to plant a soft kiss on the top of his head before letting out a sigh.

Yesterday, Daniel had asked him for one night and they’d both given freely. Now the morning was coming and with it harsh reality. Would the promises they’d whispered to each other last night last? Would forever come? Despite everything he’d said, would he still manage to hurt the precious man he held in his arms?

He felt Daniel begin to stir and looked down Sleepy blue eyes smiled up at him and he felt almost overwhelmed by the trust and love he saw in them “Hey,” he choked out.

“Hey,” Daniel replied in kind before moving up to steal a chaste kiss. “Wha’ time is it?”

Jack glanced over at the bedside clock. “Almost 6:00.”

“Twelve hours,” Daniel said sadly then rolled off Jack to lie on his back and stare up at the ceiling. “Twelve hours ‘til your flight leaves.”

“Daniel,” Jack warned. “We said...”

“I know. I know,” Daniel agreed with resignation. He sat up, swung his legs over the side of the bed, and then leaned down to pick up his discarded boxer shorts. “Why don’t you grab the first shower and I’ll get some coffee going.” He got up and started to head out of the room but stopped at the doorway. He looked back at Jack, quirking a half smile. “I don’t regret last night even if that’s all there ever is.” He held up his hand to stop Jack from saying anything. “Just...just go shower and I’ll get the coffee.”

Jack watched his friend...now lover...leave the room and then wiped his hands over his face before letting out a heartfelt “Crap!” and getting up to take a shower.

By the time he was done and walked into the kitchen, there was a pot of coffee ready and Daniel was back to his packing. Jack poured a cup of coffee and watched Daniel from the doorway that separated the living room and kitchen for a few seconds. “Hey, your turn,” he eventually called out.

“Thanks,” Daniel said. He finished taping a box closed then pushed up from the floor. “You’re still going to Mountain before you leave, right?”

Jack shook his head slightly at the definite shift between the two of them just in the time he’d taken to grab a shower. In the bedroom, they’d been Jack and Daniel, an intimate couple. Out here, they’d suddenly become Jack and Daniel, friends and colleagues again. He found it just a bit disconcerting. “Uh...yeah. I have a few things I need to grab there and a few goodbyes I have to make before I go back to my place...and lunch. There’s a car coming around 4:00 to take me to Peterson.”

“I can do that,” Daniel said and started taping up another box. He made it a point not to look at Jack.

Jack was quiet for few seconds, looking into the depths of his coffee. “I uh...I’m not sure that would be a good idea. You know how I hate long goodbyes and all.” He tried for a sarcastic tone but knew he’d missed it by a mile. He let out a breath and put the mug down. “I should probably get going.”

“Already? But...” Daniel shook his head quelling his line of thought. “No. You’re right. You must have a lot to do and I’ll see you before you go.”

“Yeah...me, you, Carter, and Teal’c. Lunch in the commissary one last time.” Jack moved toward the front door with Daniel following close behind him. He knew that as soon as he opened that door they’d have to become General O’Neill and Dr. Jackson to the rest of the world once more. He cradled Daniel’s face and gently kissed him one last time before that happened, and then he reluctantly pulled back. 

“Jack, I l...” Daniel started to say, only to stop when Jack pressed his finger to his lips.

“No, Danny,” Jack said softly, and then he let his hand fall to his side. “Don’t say it. Not now. Not ‘til...not ‘til...”

“Happily ever after,” Daniel supplied with a sad smile.

“Yeah. Happily ever after.” He reached for the doorknob and started to pull it open.

“Wait,” Daniel said and then he turned back to the living room. He grabbed the sweater Jack had brought back to him and held it out. “Here. Take this until then.”

Jack took the sweater, squeezing it tightly in both hands. He nodded once then slipped out the door before either of them could say anything else.

Daniel stood at the closed door, resting his forehead and hand on it. “I love you,” he whispered. “I’ll always love you.” His only hope was that the memories of last night and the feelings he and Jack shared didn’t become just one more faded memory – just one more old photograph wrapped in tissue and stored in a box.

+++++++++++++++

Epilogue

Jack stood outside the door to O’Malley’s and tugged nervously on a cuff. It was just dinner with his old team…no reason why he should be feeling the flutter of nerves. Hell, it should be more relaxing than lunch the other day that had also included Mitchell and Vala. There were a few times when he’d seriously thought about gagging that woman just to get a couple of second’s peace. This was just dinner and then onwards. He heaved a deep breath, pushed open the door and walked in.

The hostess started toward him, but he’d already spied his friends sitting at a corner table and he waved her off with a gesture at his party. When he was about ten feet away from the table, he saw Daniel raise his head and look in his direction. He noticed the quick intake of breath and knew that Daniel knew.

+++++++++++++++

They’d been at O’Malley’s waiting for Jack fifteen minutes already. They’d gone back and forth debating what Ba’al had meant when he said they’d made a terrible mistake just before the extraction. They’d come no closer to figuring out than they had a lunch the previous day.

While Sam voiced yet another reason for Ba’als threat, he let his mind wander for just a moment. Two years ago, he’d been set to go to Atlantis sure that his ties to his friends had unraveled and their memories only to fade but here he sat two years later. Fate had somehow conspired to not only keep the memories fresh but to keep the bonds of friendship as strong as ever and this time he was confident that even if they all went their separate ways again, they’d still always be drawn back together.

He had a sense of...something...and looked up and toward the door. That’s when he saw Jack approaching the table. Jack, who was out of uniform. Jack, who had on the sweater - Daniel’s sweater. The one he had given Jack before he’d left for Washington, DC. He sucked in a quick breath. He barely heard Sam asking him if he was ok before Jack was there sitting at the empty place beside him. “Jack?” he whispered.

He’d taken this dinner at face value. Just a chance for old friends to share a meal, a little catching up, and maybe some reminiscing about old times without the newest members of SG-1. Looking at Jack wearing that sweater, though, he dared to let his hopes rise thinking that it may be more than just old friends getting together.

+++++++++++++++

Jack gave a reassuring smile, then took in the group around the table. “Before you all get on to emptying my wallet with the most expensive meal you can get, I’ve got an announcement.” He shot a sideways glance at Daniel, took a breath, let it out and continued, “I wanted all of you to be the first to know that I filed the paperwork today to officially retire – for good this time.”

The reaction from the other three at his statement was varied. Teal’c raised an eyebrow looking at Jack waiting for him offer more information. “Isn’t this a little sudden, sir,” Carter asked with a note of concern. Daniel sat quietly with a small smile on his face and growing understanding in his eyes.

“As you all know, I was retired before. Now that Ba’al’s gone and, as far as we know, the rest of the System Lords and the Ori have been taken care of, it’s time for me to move on to the next stage of my life.”

“Next stage, Sir?” Carter prompted. 

“Next stage, Carter,” Jack said. “Very long-awaited next stage,” he added looking at Daniel.

“Would this stage be one of celebration or one of concern, O’Neill?” Teal’c asked.

“Celebration, Teal’c” Jack answered without taking his eyes off Daniel. “Big, honkin’ celebration.”

“Happily ever after, Jack?” Daniel asked hopefully as he met Jack’s eyes.

“Oh yeah, Danny,” Jack replied, then leaned over to cup Daniel’s face and kiss him gently. As the kiss ended and he pulled back just a little, he saw Teal’c and Carter exchanging knowing smiles. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out how they knew or even what they knew. He didn’t care about that right now, though. He leaned his forehead against Daniel’s. “We’re gonna live happily ever after.”


End file.
